tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6192213366326272978.post3490362521161601792..comments2013-10-13T13:18:38.378-05:00Comments on Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost: LamentValentinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16145669290233413736noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6192213366326272978.post-47397339654375244112012-05-18T20:12:46.316-05:002012-05-18T20:12:46.316-05:00Have you tried adding it to the blogroll on your o...Have you tried adding it to the blogroll on your own blog? I don't have a Google Friends thing on here, so that might be why you're lost. If you put me on that list you should be able to see whenever I've updated it.Valentinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16145669290233413736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6192213366326272978.post-43338051658505073622012-05-18T20:10:50.854-05:002012-05-18T20:10:50.854-05:00I think you're right, Blythe. Which is totally...I think you're right, Blythe. Which is totally understandable... Just sad. <br /><br />Taylor, I guess I never responded to your comment, which means you'll probably never see this response (sorry!). But your point is a really good one, especially now that people live so much longer than they used to. Women who've stayed at home to raise their children essentially have a whole second life to start in their fifties, when their last kid is gone to college, and if you haven't been in the work force since your twenties, you're kind of screwed. It's just not a system that works with the way things are.Valentinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16145669290233413736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6192213366326272978.post-54439816478294044472012-05-18T19:47:57.070-05:002012-05-18T19:47:57.070-05:00I cannot for the life of me figure out how to foll...I cannot for the life of me figure out how to follow this blog. I feel quite silly because of it. <br /><br />I think often people <i>want</i> to be something that they don't have the courage to be. Some people would rather stay in the dark and not rock the boat by admitting that there are kinks to the system in place.B McChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12312941507593975553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6192213366326272978.post-88834696077560564872012-02-25T18:00:34.072-06:002012-02-25T18:00:34.072-06:00Love you post. Especially were you said, "I j...Love you post. Especially were you said, "I just don't understand why one great thing has to rule out all other great things." Exactly! Why does motherhood have to exclude all productive avenues of life? And then what happens when your children are grown-up and living their own lives?Taylor Berlinhttp://maladjustedmormon.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6192213366326272978.post-46287706926386047052012-02-25T13:30:16.849-06:002012-02-25T13:30:16.849-06:00I think a lot of women embrace patriarchy because ...I think a lot of women embrace patriarchy because they feel they'll have to give up their "soft power" if they reject it. They get the idea that they won't be able to stay home with their children or be sweet to their husband's or do crafts or influence their children positively. I also see a lot of young women get married and suddenly be way more into BEING MARRIED than anything else. Their blogs become all about their married life instead of their own and they don't take an interest in things the way they used to. Some of this is just maturity, but some of it is the product of a culture than tells you that wifehood (made-up word) is the pinnacle of your experience. It's really sad. <br /><br />I think people jump onto anti-abortion views because it's easy. It's easy to repeat slogans that to actually consider the realities of women's bodies and that's really upsetting. <br /><br />As far as President Hinckley goes, we can't HELP being a product of our time. You can call it an excuse, but we are shaped by our upbringing in huge ways. I'm taking this Chaucer course on the Prioress' tale, which is blatantly anti-semitic and there are scholars that hold such a high opinion of Chaucer that they've invented all kinds of theories on the tale just to get around Chaucer's own prejudices. I can still love President Hinckley and disagree with what he did. And on the other hand, I was always encouraged by the way President Hinckley endorsed education for women. I'm not really loving President Monson as much, to be honest.LovelyLaurenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07940244810358859502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6192213366326272978.post-84774085868761421552012-02-25T11:55:50.266-06:002012-02-25T11:55:50.266-06:00Oh, and yeah (got a little distracted by my tirade...Oh, and yeah (got a little distracted by my tirade). The retirement thing was one that frustrated me a little. I mean you're right, there wasn't much in it. But the outright admission that she never intends to work again... The fact that they didn't even take it out to put it in a savings account or anything (they're going to Disneyland)... I've just known so many women who did this, who got married young and did the stay-at-home mom thing and then were screwed later in life, when their husbands left or died or got sick and these women had nothing to fall back on. She does have a degree, so at least there's that. But she'll have been out of the work force for decades if that ever happens, and that's a big obstacle in itself. <br /><br />And yeah, I don't know, I really don't understand the other thing. To be fair, she said that she was wanting to do something so others would think she was "spending her time wisely". And if that's the case, if the <i>only</i> reason she wanted to do something was that she was feeling judged by others, then sure, it's absolutely fine to come to the conclusion she did. But... She basically said that she doesn't even think she needs to read books, and I know she's always loved reading. That part just confuses me.Valentinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16145669290233413736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6192213366326272978.post-51247246529085033202012-02-25T11:47:22.726-06:002012-02-25T11:47:22.726-06:00The funny thing about Hinckley, Megan, was that wh...The funny thing about Hinckley, Megan, was that while I was reading I kept thinking "Well, this <i>was</i> 1978—that's almost twenty years before he became my prophet!" As though it was all some kind of youthful indiscretion... Then I realized that in 1978 he was 68 years old.<br /><br />And you know, now I'm looking at that last sentence and thinking... "Well, yeah—in 1978 he was <i>68 years old</i>! Of course the guy was as patriarchal as you can get." But I just... I don't know. I think I'm tired of justifying people's horrible actions by the fact that they were "products of their time". Because you know, in every single one of those "times", there were people who were <i>still</i> fighting against the status quo. And I feel pretty certain that if anyone should be able to be ahead of their time in recognizing and fighting against injustices, it should be <i>prophets</i> and <i>apostles</i>. If these men were really in contact with God, I think they would have had maybe a tiny bit of foresight (instead of being the last ones holding on to the old ways, like they always, always are). This is the thing that's been the most influential in my no longer believing that they are actually led by God. Good men, sure. But not any better than anyone else.Valentinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16145669290233413736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6192213366326272978.post-69057853505863517342012-02-24T23:56:44.580-06:002012-02-24T23:56:44.580-06:00I've had the same thing happen with how I felt...I've had the same thing happen with how I felt about Hinckley. I adored him. I cried when he died, I cried when Sister Hinckley died. It's been hard to learn these things about him that I didn't know.<br /><br />About your friend, that sounds like a really hard situation. Some of what she is doing sounds just plain stupid. I mean, taking all the money out of your retirement account. I'm sure there wasn't much in there at 24, but still. In my opinion, each spouse or partner should have a retirement account of some sort.<br />I feel bad for her if she feels like she shouldn't do ANYTHING outside of the home. I guess she's getting that from the Proclamation, but that seems extreme. Most active women I know have jobs, go to school, or volunteer somewhere.Megan B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/09126328105780089047noreply@blogger.com