Saturday, December 24, 2011
Molly Mormon Memory
I'm actually not a huge fan of the vaguely cheesy alliteration here, but it's an appropriate name for what it is (and I'm probably going to turn it into a label for future posts like this). I have very few memories of my childhood, which is kind of frustrating because I often can't even use my own personal experience as evidence of the things I'm talking about--or specific experiences, at least. I mostly have impressions and feelings left over. So when I do have a specific memory, I want to document it.
I remembered this last night, and it made me sad that such a small event stuck in my memory for so long. One Sunday in Primary, when I was probably eleven (nearing my graduation into Young Women), we were singing "A Child's Prayer." I always loved that song, but liked the second verse so much better and was disappointed that the boys always got to sing it when we did the harmony. That day I was feeling frustrated with it, and mentioned to my class that if they wouldn't let the girls have the second verse, I would just sing with the boys. My teacher turned to me and asked why I wanted to be rebellious.
I was really upset by this, because as the oldest child in my family--the one required to set an example--I prided myself on being obedient, mature, and responsible. I was humiliated and hurt that she would think I wanted to be rebellious. It makes me sad now when I realize that this was just the tiniest baby spark of feminism in me--all I wanted was a chance to sing the other verse once in a while, and it never occurred to the leaders to bother switching up the usual roles--and it was interpreted by my teacher as a desire to cause trouble.
Funny how little has changed in the fifteen years since then. Funny how Mormons like to think that feminists are just people who want to cause trouble, who like to stir up controversy and contention. And by funny I obviously mean sad.