I love this, and at the same time, I don't want any of my religious friends to see it. Watching it made me feel protective of them, because (to me) this essentially debunks their whole belief system and I don't want to watch that happen to them. I probably shouldn't even worry about it, because I know that a logical argument isn't going to disprove someone's belief. The whole thing is based, after all, on faith, not logic. But still. As beautiful as this is to me, this is the only place I feel comfortable sharing it.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Twenty-eight years old. This is the point I've been waiting for, when I'll be able to predict how I'm going to turn out. What do I believe about the LDS church? What kind of connection do I want to maintain with my Mormon background? What do I believe about Christianity and God in general? The answers: I don't care. I don't know if I believe in a god, and I don't care. The only thing I believe about the LDS church is that I don't want anything more to do with it, ever.
More importantly: This is the point when I realize that I've overcome my judgmental conservative Christian sense of superiority, and replaced it with that of a judgmental godless liberal. When I look at the people around me, I no longer see good-hearted Christians and depraved debauchers; I see heartless, brainwashed Christians and globally-minded free spirits. The kindest, smartest, most thoughtful, most respectful people I know are now almost exclusively unorthodox or former Christians, and the Christians I know now seem to do nothing but defend cruel and un-Christian systems of oppression. It's been my struggle of the last few years to define my own beliefs without becoming judgmental or condescending toward others'. Now I know that my struggle has failed.
I suppose the bright side is that I still strongly believe one should not be an asshole to others, so even if I think terrible things about people, I'm unlikely to say them. I hope. Even if I think organized religion is stupid and damaging, I won't go around telling people about it. Either way, at least I finally know where I stand.