Thursday, March 8, 2012

Concern Trolls are the Best

This made me laugh out loud today, from the public Feminist Mormon Housewives group.

All the responses are great, but Natalie's (such elegant simplicity) and Jennifer's (such clever use of Harry Potter quoteage!) make me particularly happy. And happy things need to be shared.


  1. That guy is disgusting. Smug self-righteousness disguised as concern. Ew.

  2. I really wanted to comment and say "Guess what guy, Sonia Johnson is my HERO and you are sad. Go find someone else to save, we're all big girls here and we're doing fine without you."

  3. I'm with Natalie: blech!
    The worst about the self-righteous concern is that they'll never understand that they are being self-righteous, (dare I say) abusive and controlling. They'll never get it. I'm pretty sure they are completely delusional. They live in a fantasy world where they actually think they KNOW what other people think, feel, believe, want, should want, should do... I am pretty sure knowing something is one way, when it really isn't, is insanity.

    Umm... sorry for the rant. I get kind of worked up about things like this...

  4. Haha I know what you mean, I do too. I think that's a pretty good definition of insanity. And I feel like we all suffer from it at one point or another... I know that described me perfectly before I had my "awakening". I read something by Orson Scott Card once (yeah I know, of all people) that's really good. It was about politics, but it totally applies.

    "It is part of human nature to regard as sane those people who share the worldview of the majority of society. Somehow, though, we have managed to divide ourselves into two different, mutually exclusive sanities. The people in each society reinforce each other in madness, believing unsubstantiated ideas that are often contradicted not only by each other but also by whatever objective evidence exists on the subject. Instead of having an ever-adapting civilization-wide consensus reality, we have became a nation of insane people able to see the madness only in the other side."

  5. Wow. Amen to all the above comments. It's so difficult when I try my best to be polite to and understanding of people that have different opinions than myself, but they can't quite seem to do the same for me. For example, a while ago my mom cornered me about my feelings about the church and asked, "Oh well, do you think I'M wrong?". My reply was very measured and emphasized that we all have different experiences that lead us down different paths . . . everyone has different talents and desires so we find different things more helpful than others . . . etc. Then she said, "Well you're wrong. You're wrong." Thanks, Mom.

    Of course, I can understand her thinking to some extent. I think a lot of people like my mother cannot fit my experience into their paradigm. My feelings are threatening, in a way, to their worldview. I think different people need different paths in life by virtue of their individuality--however, the Church is all to often a one-size-fits all organization. Thus, my beliefs make others uncomfortable and these people think I'm just not being faithful enough or I'd see it their way.

    It is so frustrating. The condescension and invalidation of my own experience is the worst.

  6. That's one of the things I get most upset about, Taylor. Dismissing someone else's experience because yours has been different... I've been appalled to notice, lately, how often this happens. People are really self-centered sometimes.

    I think it was in the Feminist Mormon Housewives Facebook group a while ago that someone commented on a situation like yours with your mother... or maybe it was on The Exponent. Now I can't remember. Anyway, someone wise pointed out that older women often have a harder time accepting feminist ideas because if they've spent their whole lives in the patriarchy, they've given up a lot and made a lot of sacrifices to do it, and something that challenges the patriarchy will make them feel like their sacrifices were all for nothing. I can definitely understand that... I think if you'd spent an entire life trying to make that work, you'd be pretty terrified of something that suggested it might not have been worth it. (I don't know that this has anything to do with your mom, that's just what it made me think of.)

    1. No, that completely follows. I want to have a good relationship with my mom, but I don't really lay out all my feelings in large part because I want to protect her. The Church gives women one role to fulfill, to raise faithful children. Just expressing my doubts has already made her feel like failure. I think you make a perfect point. If I say,there are other viable paths, what does that mean to women who gave up everything to live the one, proscribed path?

  7. Another reason I miss ya'll so much...

  8. I haven't been around the group for a couple weeks now and I'm missing it too, Risa. Also it's not the same without you. Have you created your fake profile yet? :)